T-Mobile runs its quarterly earnings calls pretty differently than the other three major carriers. While AT&T, Sprint, and Verizon are all conference calls between analysts and executives, T-Mo typically runs a video stream and takes questions from folks on Twitter, making the announcements more interesting for us regular folks. And now T-Mobile has decided to spice up the announcement of one of its competitors, too.
T-Mobile just announced the Verizon Earnings Call Drinking Game, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. The rules have three different drink levels, with the most basic tasking you with taking a drink whenever Verizon says “millennials” or “young people,” completes a sentence without using any jargon (T-Mo thinks that that’ll never happen,” or when Verizon references a year-old network test.
The next level of actions will see you taking two drinks. If you hear Verizon talk about monetization, compare Go90 to SugarString or Redbox Instant, or reference “leadership,” T-Mo wants you to take a couple of drinks.
The final level includes three things that T-Mobile things will never happen, but on the off chance that they do, you’ll need to finish your beverage. You’ll need to chug your drink if Verizon admits it plans to copy Music Freedom, Binge On, or Mobile Without Borders within a year; if Big Red admits that it no longer has a network advantage; or it Verizon says that its strategy of targeting millennials is “just the result of a midlife crisis and that it’ll stop trying to be cool…eventually.”
Verizon’s Q4 2015 earnings call is happening tomorrow, January 21, at 8:30 am ET/5:30 am PT. That may be a bit early for some of us to be drinking alcoholic beverages, but T-Mo says that you can use your beverage of choice for the game, so feel free to hydrate with water or caffeinate yourself with some coffee.
If you could participate in Verizon Earnings Call Drinking Game and partake in any beverage that you’d like, what would you choose? A good beer could help to make a call full of ARPA and churn references a bit more fun…